Priorities

Current Status: rearranging priorities...

Things are usually not that big a deal than we actually make out of them - unnecessarily... forgettin' the fact that what we give is what we get in return...
here is me, still tryin' to decide how to act to this situation that I didn't actually suffer but then again, would things had been any different if I was in it...
I wish to write all the bad n more worse - but then how can you make anyone feel guilty when they don't care anymore... Maybe their priorities have changed; Maybe they got what they wanted, & what they wanted wasn't me; Maybe its jus' time enough to call it 'over'!

whatever the case maybe, I don't find myself interested enough to know...

& I hope not to get a chance to tell them what actually 'ignorance' stands for...

Current Status: Overrule or Overruled...!

Its not like the first time that life has challenged me on what I want out of it, but it may be the first time that after continuous failures I'm still not willing to give up...
I've silently watched everyone walk out of my door, one after another, all because they can't be with me... & I kept letting go of them, 'cause I thought I understood that I'm not the special one, the prior one; & that made me feel ok about it...
But YOU too... so unwilling, so reluctant... YOU, who make me feel everything good about this mean world, who make me feel good about myself... YOU, who claimed to fear to fall for me & on the other side, want me to be the one to break his fall...

How contradictory life is...!!!!!

I call You 'Love'!

Current Status: No pain... No gain... & vice versa

right now, I so want to write it all away... each moment, each word, each single thought hurling inside of me... my mind is so full & so empty at the same time...
I so want to not want You anymore, & then I so wish to feel that irresistible touch all over again...

between everything, the only part that pains me is that You still haven't realized what is You to me...

Year 2010

I'm entering Two Thousand Ten, as blank as can be.. :)

P.S. have no idea if that's a good thing or a bad...

~ HªppY ßirtH∂ªY Aℓ√αⁿ ~ [30-12-2009]

This is your special day
but did i ever tell you -
YOU make everyday special for me...


♥~ Celebrating YOU...! ~♥

Current Status: Still Peaceful...

Life hasn't lost its pace or anything, neither have I stopped runnin' with it - but somehow I end up finding myself in a state of calmness overruling any outside chaos...
While lately, things have been extremely occupying; even though I've thought of this place again n again but eventually never managed to come over n brag about all the bad n ravaging things are gettin' to be... That is infact good too - 'cause after a hell lotta time that I've been tellin' myself that um a grown up - now I feel like actually acting like one; taking the responsibilities, working things through the unhappening states, falling asleep with more thoughts of the comin' day than of the ending one...
But, what's the most perfect thing about all this is I don't find my heart havin' changed - it stands steadfast on its grounds...
again there are things that I'm not appreciating about the way they're going -- like the outcome of some of the people I thought I may end up being friends, & then there are my friends who seems to be more of reluctant than occupied within themselves that they don't find time to hang around... DAMN! here I go again...

so ending this for now & on a good note - I have not the slightest idea on what's in your mind when You do all the things You do - but I love it... I love You... And have my heartly appreciation for being there with me, even if You don't claim it to be that way...! *smiles*

Current Mode: Peacefully thoughtful...! pretty peaceful infact...

Lately, it seems like The Divine Power is keeping me out of all the possible troubles, headin' my way... & its kinda Cool...!

More on these days I'm havin' a strong urge to start on with my writing again - enough of gettin' all the speech expertise - around & about I can 'SAY' what's in my mind... & thats pretty cool too...!

& lastly - after a trip around the universe, I'm come to the understanding 'AGAIN'! that we can't make a person love us... we can stalk them & hope they'll give in, somday...! well 'cause they'll love you for who they are [obviously when they're with you] & not for what you are...!

Peace out...!

Autumn @ My Door-Step!

.... Like whispers of despair,
One can hear the leaves echo their solace,
Yet in their last moments they burst with color,
A forest of fire and passion so intense it burns itself out almost as quick as it came,
Leaving nothing behind but a memory of what it once was .....